Oh wow it's been awhile. Most of the ICR project was focused on my individual progress in the workbook, but it's nice to be back on the blog. I thought I would spend some time and "close things out here." This project did go exactly as planned, mostly because I came up with this idea in 2020 when I felt the sense of urgency to "better" serve my community and my heritage during the peak of Anti-Asian sentiment in the United States.
I am proud to say that most of what was accomplished in this ICR project, was really special for me. I unfortunately, did not anticipate how much grief this project would make me feel - mostly because of the deep connect this project has to my personal life and my family. However, it was really rewarding to be given the opportunity to be on a podcast and engage with other Taiwanese (and Taiwanese American) folks online.
I think the most rewarding part of all of this; however, has been the connection I've had with my Mama (媽媽) through all of this. When I decided to pursue this PhD, I also had to make the very difficult decision of moving away from my family - especially my parents. I am an only child and this was very difficult for me - and it still very much is hard of me to be so far away from everything I know. Another aspect of being in this doctoral studies program, I have learned recently, is the disconnect I have developed with my 媽媽. Even though I can only really speak for myself, I have perceived some sense of "helplessness" when it comes to me lamenting my challenges I have had with time management and other things while in pursuit of my education. My 媽媽 has never had the opportunity to purse higher education consistently, and I think because of this, she might feel like she cannot "meaningfully" contribute to the academic-focused discussions that my Dad and I often have. This has always bothered me but I have never really figured out how to remedy these feelings that she might have. However, I can whole-heartedly say that I think this ICR project had really fulfilled this for my family. Whenever I talked about school, my 媽媽 would ask about my ICR project and how it was all going. I tried to include her in as much of this as possible, even though I think she was pleasantly surprised as first that I chose this as my ICR project, but also that learning Taiwanese would be "important" enough to be apart of my PhD program requirements. I think there is a lot of validity for her knowing that her culture and her home language is important to me and is necessary for my own academic success.
I am deeply grateful that I was able to learn Taiwanese as part of my PhD project requirements. It's been very beneficial not only for my own personal development, but also the connection I now get to intentional cultivate and share with my 媽媽. Below I have included a screenshot from my LINE conversation I had with my 媽媽 at the end of my ICR project after I told her that I was pretty much finished with my ICR project. I thanked her for her support and feedback and to me, this is one of the most important experiences I have had in my studies.
Comments